It’s 2:30 am, and I’ve got to put the laundry in the dryer.

Good night.

We’ll be fighting in the streets
With our children at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone.

Art by 2013

Dear Oscars and the Academy of Motion Pictures,

I always watch your award show every year. I do not know why I do this. It is probably because of me trying to desperately hang on to my dreams of becoming a famous film director back when I was young and stupid. Well after 2010, I will watch you no longer. Your show is beyond embarrassing. Your choices are irrationally bad. Making time for a blatantly cheesy dance number instead of giving that time to your winners so they can have the chance to make an acceptance speech is a sign of total disrespect. You, your industry, and your products are a sham.

Insincerely,
Punch Gun

P.S. Thanks for not letting Avatar win Best Picture

Stop making re-makes. Stop taking anime/manga properties and turning them into live-action films. Stop making dumb casting decisions. Stop making sequels and prequels that will make me pine for the original. Stop putting Keanu Reeves in sci-fi flicks (especially if he’s going to be dressed in a black suit and tie throughout the duration of the film). Stop trying to fool me into thinking that the flick starring Mr. A-List Actor is an independent. And one more thing…stop making films that waste two hours of my life just so I can watch the surprise ending that isn’t really surprising.