Stop making re-makes. Stop taking anime/manga properties and turning them into live-action films. Stop making dumb casting decisions. Stop making sequels and prequels that will make me pine for the original. Stop putting Keanu Reeves in sci-fi flicks (especially if he’s going to be dressed in a black suit and tie throughout the duration of the film). Stop trying to fool me into thinking that the flick starring Mr. A-List Actor is an independent. And one more thing…stop making films that waste two hours of my life just so I can watch the surprise ending that isn’t really surprising.

I recently joined the Facebook and Twitter pages for the television travelogue “Madventures”, and I’m immediately reminded of how awesome this show really is. When it premiered in the U.S., I quickly dismissed it as yet another soon-to-be over hyped show about how funny it is for white guys to feel and act uncomfortable around people who aren’t just like them. But when I saw my first episode, I was hooked! Riku and Tunna are the real deal. Rather than make light of the differences between cultures, it’s refreshing to watch the two men genuinely and wholeheartedly embrace the diversity in every country they visit. Unlike Anthony Bourdain, who traverses the globe, spewing his cynical garbage, while disguising his yuppie decadence as punk rock hipness, Riku and Tunna present the world in a way that is both entertaining and inspiring.

Best Picture Nominee? Really? Can anybody qualify? James Cameron treated my emotions like a cheap prostitute, and I didn’t appreciate it. But by not liking this film, what does that say about me? Obviously, Cameron can laugh his ass off all the way to the bank. So the question is, are my standards too high, or is the general population too goddamn stupid? And why are there so many nominees for Best Picture? Apparently, it is to bestow the honor to more nominees. But my suggestion is…nominate only the films that deserve to be nominated, then you won’t need to increase the number of nominees.

It’s the new year. Time for my first post for 2010. Since I suffered much mental anguish from watching an all-day Ghost Lab marathon at work, I’ve decided to make this insipid show the subject of my scorn.

Paranormal investigation is no longer a silly hobby for gray-haired, eccentric, old ladies. This genre has made it into the most coveted of all demographics: men who play video games, and “read” FHM magazine. Ghost Adventures over at the Travel Channel has Zak and his crew. Well, on Ghost Lab there’s the Klinge brothers – two guys from Texas with the neck size of nightclub bouncers. Oh, and one of them wears his baseball hat backwards, which is always cool. The brothers travel to blah, blah, blah, to blah, blah, blah, and look for blah, blah, blah. No longer do you act friendly and gentle in order to convince the ghosts to show themselves, but the Klinges actually try to BULLY the ghosts into making an appearance. Their winning arsenal of taunts include lines such as, “Come on out! Show me what you’re made of!” As brother Brad explained in an episode, this technique can be described as “heavy provoking”.

What’s offensive is how the legitimacy of the show is all based on science that is fraudulent. Hocus pocus has been redressed as scientific research. Fancy sounding terms are thrown around. Meters, cameras, and gauges are used. And in an effort to prove that the brothers and their cohorts are serious investigators, they comb the haunted sites wearing those black commando vests. You know, the ones with all those little pockets to hold things. Just like those neato SWAT guys.

In the end, nothing is found. No theory is proved. Anything that IS presented as evidence seems completely contrived and forced. That’s when the audience realize that they’ve just spent an hour watching absolutely nothing happening. But maybe I’m just putting down the show because I’m secretly jealous. It’s not a bad gig to be paid money to travel across the U.S. and be bullshit artists. It’s more work being a con man.

Christmas is over! And I would like to celebrate the passing of this wretched holiday by extolling the brilliance of DeForest Kelley. His portrayal of Dr. McCoy has made an impact in every nerd’s life, and he shall never be forgotten. Even though, apparently, the Academy of Motion Pictures hasn’t noticed that he’s dead. But what do want from a bunch of degenerates who thought Shakespeare in Love deserved a Best Picture Oscar.