Punch Gun

It’s the new year. Time for my first post for 2010. Since I suffered much mental anguish from watching an all-day Ghost Lab marathon at work, I’ve decided to make this insipid show the subject of my scorn.

Paranormal investigation is no longer a silly hobby for gray-haired, eccentric, old ladies. This genre has made it into the most coveted of all demographics: men who play video games, and “read” FHM magazine. Ghost Adventures over at the Travel Channel has Zak and his crew. Well, on Ghost Lab there’s the Klinge brothers – two guys from Texas with the neck size of nightclub bouncers. Oh, and one of them wears his baseball hat backwards, which is always cool. The brothers travel to blah, blah, blah, to blah, blah, blah, and look for blah, blah, blah. No longer do you act friendly and gentle in order to convince the ghosts to show themselves, but the Klinges actually try to BULLY the ghosts into making an appearance. Their winning arsenal of taunts include lines such as, “Come on out! Show me what you’re made of!” As brother Brad explained in an episode, this technique can be described as “heavy provoking”.

What’s offensive is how the legitimacy of the show is all based on science that is fraudulent. Hocus pocus has been redressed as scientific research. Fancy sounding terms are thrown around. Meters, cameras, and gauges are used. And in an effort to prove that the brothers and their cohorts are serious investigators, they comb the haunted sites wearing those black commando vests. You know, the ones with all those little pockets to hold things. Just like those neato SWAT guys.

In the end, nothing is found. No theory is proved. Anything that IS presented as evidence seems completely contrived and forced. That’s when the audience realize that they’ve just spent an hour watching absolutely nothing happening. But maybe I’m just putting down the show because I’m secretly jealous. It’s not a bad gig to be paid money to travel across the U.S. and be bullshit artists. It’s more work being a con man.